I’m a cheater. I said what I said.

No judgment please, this is neither the time nor the place.

I’m confessing here and that’s always hard enough without any additional difficulty that comes with being judged as well.

I know, it’s not every day someone tries to sell you on cheating as a good thing.

Well, today is your lucky day (keep reading and you’ll get why I chuckled there).

Just so we’re clear, let me define cheating for you as I’m using it today:

Cheat: to avoid something (usually undesirable) by luck or skill.

Don’t believe me? Google it, I’ll wait……..

Are you back? Great!

If you stopped by, thinking this was going to be an article extolling some perceived virtues of infidelity or trickery, then you’re out of luck, sorry!

Instead, I’m more interested in how we consider ourselves lucky and what that could mean.

Luck is defined simultaneously as:

• A force that brings good fortune or adversity;
• The events or circumstances that operate for or against an individual and
• Favouring chance, also known as success.

What all those viewpoints have in common is that luck is considered something outside of us, that operates independently of our actions or decisions.

When I say I’m a cheater, what I’m actually saying is, that I don’t subscribe to the idea that my fate rests in the hands of the universe, I create my own luck.

Or in the words of Roman Stoic philosopher, Seneca the Younger, I believe that

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity”.

Seneca

I don’t think good things happen to me by chance, I think when they happen, I’m primed and ready to take advantage of the opportunity offered. 

In the same vein, if I miss out on an opportunity, it’s not because it was bad luck, it’s because I wasn’t prepared or ready.

My solution? Stay prepared for the things that light you up so that when the slightest opportunity presents itself, you’re ready to seize your “luck”.

It’s scary though.

Because it means truly taking responsibility and accountability for our actions or lack thereof.

That’s not something a lot of people are comfortable doing.

Understandably.

Most of us would rather judge and blame our circumstances and other people than look in the mirror and truly believe that maybe we are the ones that need changing.

Please don’t get me wrong. 

There are instances where the only option is to change your circumstances or surroundings or where it’s even impossible. Instances of abuse, untenable relationships, chronic illness or pain, and extreme poverty come to mind.

Truly though, not all of us are grappling with those huge issues in our day-to-day lives.

We have things that cause us irritation, minor frustration, and low to mid-level annoyance. 

But we’re mostly mildly uncomfortable in our comfort zones.

What’s our reason for not flexing our muscles, staying prepared, and creating our own luck?

It’s confronting, isn’t it? The idea that we should all take responsibility for our own lives?

I know.

I’ve been there.

Happily sitting in the passenger seat of the vehicle that was my life. Except I wasn’t really happy.

And blaming situations or people was starting to get old.

And so I decided to stop.

It’s been many years of five steps forward and three steps back, oscillating between “I am the captain of my ship” and “why is adulting so hard!” 

And it’s not over.

I don’t think it’ll ever be over, because in my opinion, that is exactly what life is about. 

The constant growth to be better. 

If I’m not growing, I’m declining, there’s no auto-hold that keeps me in place.

I’ve learnt to take responsibility, I’ve learnt what works for me in terms of accountability, and I’ve learnt how to avoid the things I don’t want. 

I’ve learnt how to cheat.

And my clients and I work together to learn their cheat codes too.

The upside of getting spectacularly good at cheating? 

Feeling more seen, more fulfilled, more grounded, more purposeful and more passion-driven.

So tell me about yourself, friend. Are you a cheater and proud, or could you do with learning a trick or two?